"You never know who you'll meet" | Kerry's Carer Retreat experience
September 08, 2025
Kerry has been caring for family members with MND since 2017. This year she made a last minute decision to attend a carers retreat. Below, she shares the remarkable thing that happened to her on the retreat.
I am a carer who looks after my 44 year old son who suffers from MND. He is the third member of my family who has suffered from this disease.
My husband, Anthony, died in 2017, after a very quick 3 months illness followed by my daughter, Jessica in 2020, after a short 6 months. Both of them suffered upper bulbar symptoms which can affect the lungs quickly.
Once I knew my son also had this condition I was preparing for a quick illness but luckily, my son is now well into his fourth year and still able to support himself.
As we all know, a carer has low times, so when I was first sent an invitation to attend MND Victoria’s carer retreat hosted at a nice hotel in Flinders Street I was interested, I felt like I needed to do something for myself. I don’t tend to attend carer’s programs, but I was hoping to learn new things about support for my son, and pick up some survival tips for myself.
So, at the very last minute I decided to attend, and on a cold winter’s night I went to the hotel to join the first dinner event.
Before the dinner started we had the opportunity to mingle at the bar downstairs. We had a few tables reserved for us, and we started the usual small talk banter you make when meeting strangers. A couple of people knew each other from other carer’s event, but for the most part we were all strangers with a shared caring role, all eager to make connection and conversation.
Across the table from me were seated a lovely couple from Albury. As I used to live in Wangaratta and we started talking about the area, I asked if they knew my cousin Robby who owned a horse stable in Albury. “Yes, I know, him” the husband said. “But I didn’t know him very well, I used to go out with his cousin Kerry.”
I‘m sure my mouth dropped and I stared at him reading his name tag , realising I was talking to a very old friend.
“Jerry? It’s me, Kerry!” I had to say it twice.
Jerry was just as taken aback, because we did not recognise each other. Our astonishment and the conversation brought in many onlookers, watching the experience of two old friends reconnecting.
In our youth, we went out together for four years. It was a serious relationship, living first in Perth together, then Melbourne and Vancouver where Jerry’s family were. After a year there, we decided to come back to Australia but went our separate ways. I went to Melbourne to begin a teaching degree, and Jerry to Beechworth for a nursing degree. We lost contact over 46 years ago.
It was so lovely to see him again. It’s become a story I know we both recount.
Sadly, Jerry contracted MND 18 months ago. He and his partner are experiencing a similar journey as me. We’ve made an effort to have some more exchanges, and have extended invitations to each other. I hope we catch up at another event.
I have been involved with MND Victoria for over 8 years now and I’m glad they are there. Although I don’t go to many carer events, I do read the outcomes of the discussions and take on helpful suggestions. I also ring MND Victoria if I’m stuck and need advice.
As a sufferer of grief and a carer the main advice I can pass on is to use mindfulness techniques regularly and, like me, do try new things and go to the retreat or carers events. You never know who you meet.
Share page